ShuffleCreeps

Creepy lil’ fuckers shuffling all up in your personal bubble. These things will patrol your toy collection, hunting down flippers and rip-offs and devouring their fingers. I’m kidding, they aren’t that well behaved.

8-10 inches tall, faux-fur, polyurethane, acrylic, mechanical parts, uses 3x AA batteries for shufflin’ action. Batteries included. Fragile-ish. Don’t let the dog at them or push hard on their stupid faces.

Care and feeding:
Requires 6x white mice or ten airplane bottles of gin per day for best upkeep. Mice must know how to boogie. Gin must be dry. Has an overall ‘power off’ switch as well as a sort of pressure toggle thingo to start the shuffle if you have that first dealie set to ‘on’. I’ll include a picture so that makes some sort of sense, and which will explain how to give it new batteries.

You’d also get some stickers and stuff, should you choose to rehome one of these doofy little shitwits.